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11 September 2008 @ 12:17 am
"Because," he said, "I sometimes have a queer feeling with regard to you—especially when you are near me, as now: it is as if I had a string somewhere under my left ribs, tightly and inextricably knotted to a similar string situated in the corresponding quarter of your little frame. And if that boisterous Channel, and two hundred miles or so of land come broad between us, I am afraid that cord of communion will be snapt; and then I've a nervous notion I should take to bleeding inwardly. As for you,—you'd forget me." - Mr Rochester

"I grieve to leave Thornfield: I love Thornfield:- I love it, because I have lived in it a full and delightful life,—momentarily at least. I have not been trampled on. I have not been petrified. I have not been buried with inferior minds, and excluded from every glimpse of communion with what is bright and energetic and high. I have talked, face to face, with what I reverence, with what I delight in,—with an original, a vigorous, an expanded mind. I have known you, Mr. Rochester; and it strikes me with terror and anguish to feel I absolutely must be torn from you for ever. I see the necessity of departure; and it is like looking on the necessity of death." - Jane Eyre

I'm obsessed with the second quote. I just spend 10 minutes reading it over and over again coming to the realization that I lack passion. I need passion in life and it sucks that I don't have any. I don't have passion when it comes to my future, my love life, my work, nothing. I just let life go by without actually doing any work. I would really love passion when it comes to my love life though. I've kind of become obsessed with Mr. Rochester. I want a byronic type of guy who is angry at the world but lives with a passion for life and what he loves.

In my lit class, we're reading the play "A Look Back in Anger" by John Osborne who is a British Playwright that started the "Angry Young Men" genre. In it, the main character Jimmy is this awful man who is angry at the world and verbally abuses his best friend and wife and eventually cheats on the wife with her best friend. And yet I like him. I admire him. In class, everyone is saying what an awful guy he is and how the wife is stupid for being in an abusive relationship with him. But when he speaks, I completely know why he is the way he is.

"You see, I learnt at an early age what it was to be angry- angry and helpless. And I can never forget it. (Sits.) I knew more about-love...betrayal...and death, when I was ten years old than you will probably ever know all your life." - Jimmy

"They all want to escape from the pain of being alive. And, most of all, from love....It's no good trying to fool yourself about love. You can't fall into it life a soft job, without dirtying up your hands. And if you can't bear the thought of messing up your nice, clean soul, you'd better give up the whole idea of life, and become a saint. Because you'll never make it as a human being. It's either this world or the next." - Jimmy

Jimmy is mad because he has these dreams of how he wants his life to be and he can't have it his way. But then, no one gets what they want and it's unfair. So he's angry.

I need passion.
29 November 2005 @ 07:52 pm
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